You’ve read enough of my writing to know that when I have questions about our Catholic Christian faith, I turn to the three most reliable sources for accurate and faithful answers: the Bible, the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC), and Church history.

The Feast of the Holy Family is celebrated on the first Sunday after Christmas or on December 30th if Christmas falls on a Sunday. When I began to write my homily for my first Holy Family Mass, I wanted the Church’s answer to this question: “what makes a family?” I opened the Catechism, looked under “family” in its index, found “make-up, nature, and purpose of,” and turned to paragraphs 2201 through 2203.

The main point of 2201 stated, “Marriage and the family are ordered to the good of the spouses and to the procreation and education of children.”

The main point of 2202 stated, “A man and a woman united in marriage, together with their children, form a family.”

The main point of 2203 stated, “In creating man and woman, God instituted the human family and endowed it with its fundamental constitution.”

I love the simple answer to my original question (“What makes a family?”) found in CCC 2202. This CCC paragraph goes on to say, “It (this definition) should be considered the normal reference point by which the different forms of family relationship are to be evaluated.” A family remains a family even when the father or mother dies. When an unmarried man or an unmarried woman adopts a child, together they become a family. I have witnessed beautiful examples of this family structure in many parishes. When grandparents assume responsibility for their grandchildren, together they become a family.

Today, the secular world has too much influence on families of faith; whether they are Christians, Jews, or Moslems. The secular world would have us believe that a family can be led by two men or two women who are sexually involved with each other. Don’t buy into this lie that a homosexual relationship can be the basis of a family unit. God does not accept any distortion of His truth. The Christian family is a reflection of the covenant of Christ with His Church. Vatican II and the Catechism call the Christian family the “domestic church.” The Catechism says that this domestic church is a community of faith, hope, and charity.

Do me a favor, read the following Catechism paragraph (2205) slowly, multiple times. Read each of the five sentences that comprise this paragraph, individually, multiple times; then read them together.

1. “The Christian family is a communion of persons, a sign and image of the communion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit.”
2. “In the procreation and education of children it reflects the Father’s work of creation.”
3. “It is called to partake of the prayer and sacrifice of Christ.”
4. “Daily prayer and the reading of the Word of God strengthen it in charity.”
5. “The Christian family has an evangelizing and missionary task.”

All family members have roles, duties, and responsibilities that must be fulfilled if a family is to thrive and grow in its love for God and for each other. God gave father and mother different, but complimentary, roles within the family. Neither role is superior to the other, just different by God’s infinite knowledge and perfect design.

Saint Paul tells us in Col 3:18-21, “Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to the Lord. Fathers do not provoke your children, so they may not become discouraged.”

Did you cringe when you read Paul’s first sentence? Many people do. Since the 20th century, society has misinterpreted what the first century author (under the guidance of the Holy Spirit) meant. Paul is not saying that the wife is the husband’s slave. The Church has always taught that all members of a family are equal in dignity. The wife is the husbands equal and she must be treated by him with respect and sincere love. Men and women, husbands and wives, are created in the image and likeness of God. Is the Church the slave of Christ? No! Yet, the Church is the Bride of Christ. Would Christ do anything to harm His bride? No! Therefore, if a husband does anything to harm his bride, he will be called to answer to God for His sin.

Let’s look at Joseph’s role in the Holy Family. He was its guardian, its center of authority. Likewise, God calls each father to be his family’s guardian, its center of authority. Let’s look at Mary’s role in the Holy Family. She was its nurturer, its source of comfort and understanding. By God’s design, Joseph was the head of the Holy Family and Mary was its heart. The head is lost without the heart and the heart is lost without the head. Therefore, decisions within the family must be reached through the joint discussion and deliberation of father and mother. Based on the age and maturity of the children, and the topic or issue under discussion, children must be given the opportunity to share their thoughts and concerns within the family. Children will respect and love their parents if their parents respect and love each other.

Vatican II calls the family the foundation of society. We need to accept this truth and refuse to allow the compromising and degrading influence prevalent throughout society to destroy families. Let your Catholic Christian voice be heard; and let your Catholic Christian actions be seen everywhere.

For more insight read CCC paragraphs 2201-2233. Also, pull out your “Catholic” Bible and reference Ex 20:12; Deut 5:16; Sir 3:1-16; Mt 2:13-15; 1 Cor 11:3, 11-12; Eph 5:21-6:4; Col 3:18-21.